i wear my chaos well.

Jul - Aug 2014 // Much More Than Wild Courage

Tom Waits has taken over my life. From eighteen to nearing two thousand plays in just over a month. Nothing else seems to satisfy me, and it’s as if I’ve leveled up to a whole new plane of musical interest. My condition has improved somewhat, but for over a month I was only able to listen to classical, mamba (I don’t know, I really don’t), jazz, and weird noise. If there had to be words, it could not be in English. So this whole playlist is really just violent punctuation marks to a mostly Tom Waits couple of months. 

1. “Just The Right Bullets” — Tom Waits :: Welcome to the Wild West Circus Nightmare Show. 

2. “String Quartet No. 5: V” — Kronos Quartet :: [Performs Philip Glass] Until 3:04, you’re just waiting for it- - — — and then the sweetness crashes in and all the disjointed, bustling notes from the beginning traffic jam part of the piece sprang into formation and performed a breathtaking ballet and shocked us all. 

3. “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk” — Rufus Wainwright :: Oh, Rufus! What a fancy motherfucker. Songwriting on par with John Grant, Brian Molko, Chris Corner — theatrical, dark, glitter everywhere, devastating and poignant. He’s been a nice opposition to Tom Waits this month. He’s clean and choreographed to Waits’ gritty, stumbling performance; sarcastic and bitchy to Waits’ blunt, terse suffering; lovesick to Waits’ resignation. You understand. The whole discography is flawless, but this song just happens to resonate with me… 

4. “Back Door Man” — The Doors :: In an effort to make this playlist less dark and still feature The Doors, here’s a song featuring references to anal sex. 

5. “Silver Moons” — Sunset Rubdown :: Another Tom Waits influence. I’ve always loved Spencer Krug’s songwriting and it turns out he’s one of the few I’ve been able to tolerate during this weird spell of mine. His intentions are bare, a little ugly, and I believe him. No glibness, triteness, or forced sex appeal. His music has a bit of childishness (some of the instrumentation, the marching quality to the songs) that lets his raw regret really shine. 

6. “Harlem Nocturne” — The Lounge Lizards :: The Lounge Lizards meant to make fun of jazz, but in doing so (successfully, I might add), they made a really solid jazz album. 

7. “4th of July” — Soundgarden :: For some reason, in the throes of Tom Waits, when my coworkers finally put their collective feet down and demanded I pick something else to listen to, this album was one of the only things I could think of to play that didn’t make me cringe. I’ve said it before, but I really do think there’s a neural cluster in my brain that grunge soundwaves just alight on and tickle and my whole body just purrs back with gratitude. Maybe Nirvana was playing on the stereo that one time my dad dropped me on my head when I was a kid and I was just never the same. 

8. “Work Work (feat. Cocc Pistol Cree)” — clipping. :: The lyrics clippings. uses are unassuming, bland at first, but when you start to examine them in comparison to other rap lyrics about dealing drugs, making money, evading cops, shooting guns, fucking bitches — what clever bastards! Musically, this song is so sparse, just sounds like a little ditty, practically a skeleton for a folk song (in a world where we consider hip-hop to be in our repertoire of folk music, which I do). Insert lyrics and hook and you’ve got a song. Lyrically, it’s similarly terse and ambiguous. There’s money being made here without a business license. That part’s not important. Cocc Pistol’s verse is a dark portrait of the repetitive Nicki Minaj card (“I’m a very talented rapper but let’s talk about my designer shoes. Also I get paid.”). Brilliant. When the police lights show up in the rearview, Diggs gives four possible scenarios (A, B, C, and D) to follow, each a trope of mainstream rap lyrics. The last option? “D) All of the above in your head but it really doesn’t matter coz you already dead. / No obituaries for the most part. Nobody cares, you’re not even a co-star, just an extra.” DAYUM, clippings. SO COLD. 

9. “Romeo and Juliet, Op. 64, Act I: Dance of the Knights” — Sergei Prokofiev / London Symphony Orchestra / André Previn :: TMI, but I deliberately timed an orgasm to this piece and cannot recommend enough. 

10. “Swing  Low” — Michael J Sheehy :: Criminally underappreciated. Also, dirty. Fans of Tom Waits should appreciate. 

11. “No Quarter” — Led Zeppelin :: This song blew my mind when I heard it when I was eight or so. I couldn’t believe something that dark existed. Probably changed the course of my life.

12. “Run Overdrive” — Civil Civic :: My mind does somersaults listening to this album. It’s such a confusion of different styles of sound. Makes my fucking pupils dilate. Drum machines, distorted guitars, synthesizers, classic guitar riffs, dance beats, keyboards, clean edges,… I just don’t know what to think. In instances the whole endeavor seems amateurish, but the way it all comes together is just so pleasing… Hats off to you, gentlemen. I’d like some more, please. 

13. “Young & Lovely” — Jherek Bischoff :: Instant dancing feet. 

14. “Judith (Live)” — A Perfect Circle :: Oh yeah, and these live albums came out at some point. I can’t believe how good they sound. How did they manage that? I was even there for that tour! It actually sounded that good live. APC is like therapy for me. 

15. “Amore” — Ryuichi Sakamoto :: Piano for pleasant dreams. 

16. “Alice” — Sunn 0))) :: Q: Why would you listen to metal? A: (dawned on me at Boris this month) Because this shit is the sound of the sun rising, the snow covering the mountainside, the ferns unfurling their tendrils. This is the vibrating of avalanches, and the earth groaning beneath our tiny feet, and thunder on the horizon. That’s why we listen to metal. We live in cities now, with four insulated walls and flowerpots and electric fire. Lest we forget how powerless we are against the earthquakes and hurricanes… listen to metal. 

This month I was mostly sad. I learned that my heart is stubborn and infallible. This playlist somewhat reflects the anguish of June, but rather than blubber all over the page, I’ve tried to be succinct and retain normalcy. The blubbering will come later. For now, as scheduled: 

June 2014 // A Chain Around My Heart Holding Me Together 

1. “Drive Blind” — Ride :: Worth the risk. Always worth the risk. (Metaphorically.)

2. “To The Top” — Twin Shadow :: Feel that? It’s your heart skipping a beat to this song. Twin Shadow’s love songs are impeccable, full of bombast and sincerity. Obviously reminiscent of the 80s, but a masterful interpretation of the sensibilities of pop music at the time that doesn’t leave one cringing. 

3. “Fuck Your Ethnicity” — Kendrick Lamar :: My slow-motion Summer Jam 2014, just a few years too late. 

4. “Basketball” — Speedy Ortiz :: Musical accompaniment to all the dreams in which you fuck up a very important and public performance, usually — to your astonishment — while totally naked. 

5. "Mama” — Shannon & the Clams :: Take your heartache, bring it in close, cheek-to-cheek, and dance until curfew. 

6. “I Get (Almost) Everything I Want” — The Mae Shi :: The implications are severe. 

7. “Conga Twist” — The Revels :: If you have no use for this in your life then I am sorry to inform you that you are not living the plot of an incredible romance. 

8. “Roscoe” — Midlake ::  We have all we need.  

9. “When You Finish Me” — The Black Heart Procession :: I hold my breath for the duration of this song every time. 

10. “I Love the Valley OH!” — Xiu Xiu :: Agony, agony! Jamie Stewart is my spirit animal. 

11. "Fall Over” — Banks :: I traded in “Problem” by Ariana Grande for this track. Not really comparable, you might say, but if you listen closely, this is the opposite path one might take in the same situation. Here’s to the recent trend of wailing women. I am for it. 

12. “Absisto” — Cold Specks :: I’m enchanted. 

13. “Avalance” — Gardens & Villa :: Devastating. This album is deceptively sad, like Pet Sounds. 

14. “I Hope You Die” — Wye Oak :: Post-apocalyptic love song / more sax. 


lay me down, in the ground

bury me and leave

let me disappear gently

with the frozen leaves

ashen skin, down the drains

to the reservoirs

minerals sink as the soul enters the air

like a snowflake tickles your cheek

as a ghost i’ll make sure

you keep running into me

back and forth, in some shape and form

we will be

as if no one ever lived here with me


people moving so fast

hit the charge, then blast

the lift and crash 

soothsaying visions

got you heated up inside

make you question if you love me tonight

groove through the dance

open up and sing for me

anybody can manipulate a lucid dream

take it real slow, follow your bones

let them shiver when you find me in the lines of your poems 

curse your father for the sins i commit tonight

it was all just a fever dream

that broke in a fight


people move so fast

hit the charge, feel the blast

the lift and crash


May 2014 // Clouds in Our Lungs 

1. "Be Free" — King Dude & Chelsea Wolfe :: I have a mad crush on these two dark souls. This song is pure and American and blackhearted and I give it two thumbs up. 

2. "Flyentology (Cassettes Won’t Listen Remix)" — El-P & Trent Reznor :: When El-P drops the “No! There are no atheists in the foxholes!” I can’t help but fantasize about myself hunched over some turntables, ten years in the past, instructing the crowd to “bounce” with one hand. [There’s something always a little embarrassing about these sort of collaborations. El-P and Reznor definitely share (part of) a fan base, and surely they admire each other’s work; ideologically, it’s clear that they have much in common. But somehow, they come together and write a very literal song around a tired antireligion spiel (something they could agree on?). Even the reconciliation of their distinct styles is a 50/50 split down the middle. The effect is that the listener, a fan of one or both of these musical powerhouses, feels pandered to in the most insulting way. It very nearly seems like a marketing ploy to appeal to the widest audience possible. “What do El-P and NIN fans have in common? Well, they are both suspicious of authority and dogmatic rel— ” “Then it’s settled. Johnson, pull up r/atheism for some quick brainstorming.”]

3. "Mother" — The Golden Filter :: This is a great song for those days when you want to pour a gallon of gasoline over your head. 

4. "All Day and All of the Night" — Adolescents :: The volumes of Rat Music for Rat People were pressed on vinyl or released on CD, passed around from person to person, and crudely but gratefully copied whenever possible. Like many cassettes or, later, burned CDs, Rat Music volumes were likely used as collateral, currency in friendly trades (“My old TV for twenty bucks and a copy of the Pretty Hate Machine demos you got from your sister’s boyfriend’s coworker in LA.”), and as instruments of petty revenge in countless breakups. Later, in the age of Napster and file-sharing, tracks from Rat Music were separated from one another and trickled solo into the ears of internauts everywhere (some old fans, some new fans, some troubled youth in Brazil). Mislabeled “Rare Circle Jerks Demo 1982” entered the repertoires of a wholly new generation of listeners who sought out and then hid from their parents their used “Group Sex” cassettes and copied them for anyone who would listen. Later still, today, those young people are blogging about those punk rock rarities as if they participated at all in their initial dissemination. They didn’t, and though they aren’t exactly at ease with the fact that now, today, Rat Music for Rat People volumes can be streamed in their entirety all over the internet, they are happy to push the legends of punk rock on new ears to keep the train going. 

5. "The Seed 2.0" — The Roots (feat. Cody ChestnuTT) :: “It’s so hard to make a case for this song to all my white friends.” 

6. "Bleeding Muddy Water" — Mark Lanegan :: I guess we can start calling this shit something. Doom folk? Doom blues? I’ll start a band called The Doomy Blues and we can all have a good laugh. 

7. "The Way We Get By" — Spoon :: THIS SONG HORRIFIES ME. I pray it’s not about me and everyone I know. 

8. "Feral Love" — Chelsea Wolfe :: I have such a hardon for this shit. I would like to be her. 

9. "I’ve Been High (Live Video Version [Channel V, Sydney])" — R.E.M. :: There goes Michael Stipe again, effortlessly writing songs about feelings we can all seamlessly relate to. (There is a really good acoustic version of this song that they did on KFOG did years and years ago… But I can’t find it…) 

10. "Book of Love" — Claps :: During the month of May I read The Story of O  (which is like the French 1955 version of 50 Shades of Grey but actually inspired by Marquis de Sade and not some vampire teen porn — quite a bit more brutal than any of that sad-housewife-fantasy-bullshit) and though this song resonates with me, personally, I cannot help but picture the bruxing romance between O and Sir Stephen. And I rather wish I didn’t. It doesn’t end well for O. 

11. "Lucifer’s the Light of the World" — King Dude :: Dooooom Folllllkkkkk Praise Satan! 

12. "Deception" — Blackalicious :: This is the first line of defense against people who claim to hate hip-hop. 

13. “Marathon Man” — The Icarus Line :: I’ve said it before and it holds true three point five albums later: Screeching, drugged-up dirt-rock soaked in whiskey and nosebleed makes for great imaginary sex. 

14. "Blue Sunshine" — HTRK :: I worry sometimes that future music scholars will look back on all this numb, ethereal music I love so much and disparage it for its hollowness. They’ll comment that its inherent sarcasm/blase despair damns it so far in the direction of apathy that any virtue it held is negated by the fact that it kept us comfortable in our fuckedness. (What?)

15. "Eyesdown (Sasha Mix)" — Bonobo :: When it’s spring and it’s raining out this is the most perfect accompaniment to the buzzing feeling in your chest. 

16. "Fighting Fire (Radio Edit)" — Breakage :: Obligatory bad/amazing dance song from the UK. 

March - April 2014 // [TITLE REDACTED] 

1. "A Live Mystery" — Young Wonder :: This song isn’t really representative of Young Wonder’s other work; it’s really more of an intro track (both for their album and this playlist/month). I walked around with this on repeat during the first warm, breezy days of the year. The female vocalist sounds like a mix between Bjork and Karin from The Knife/Fever Ray, and the duo make good use of samples, odd synth sounds, and tribal beats. 

2. “Parked Outside” — Afghan Whigs :: I think I love this band for the same reasons other people hate them: they’re uncomfortable, reactionary, overly sensitive, unapologetic, pained (listening to them can ignite that feeling you get when someone is being way too honest about some personal shortcoming of theirs). The Afghan Whigs are the gifted, misfit child of hair metal and R&B who couldn’t get into grunge because it didn’t have a wide enough emotional breadth. The Afghan Whigs are forever bleeding from the face. 

3. “Show Me (feat. Chris Brown)” — Kid Ink :: I wish I could claim that each time I ventured to the Top 100 lists, I brought back with me only the most compelling, well-deserved pop music. But this is frequently untrue. For example, this song… This song… What is he even talking about? What does she remind him of? It’s got this weird forlorn tone to it, and yet the lyrics are utterly substanceless! Anyway, it’s catchy.

4. “Hounds of Love (New Mix)” — The Futureheads :: This song is inexpressibly dear to me. A close consideration of the lyrics is recommended (It’s a Kate Bush cover).

5. “Nerve Endings” — Eagulls :: Not a tinge of sarcasm in this album. Just grey English skies, decay, and earnesty. (To fall back on my formula: Like The Horrors’ “Primary Colors” meets A Place to Bury Strangers.) 

6. “Changes (Original Mix)” — Faul & Wad Ad vs. Pnau :: That fucking saxophone! I am a longtime loather of the instrument, and yet here it is, with new clothes and new tricks and I stand converted. I will let the saxophone back into my life as long as it promises to keep making deadpan appearances in electronic music. 

7. “Supreme” — Postiljonen :: The lessons of the 80s are alive and well in Scandinavia. Also, this album has a lot of (synth) saxophone. If you’re looking for some summer jams a la M83, look no further. 

8. “The Feeling” — Naomi Punk :: Things about this album: It’s a punk album written by people who love dirges (and black metal) and there’s gang vocals. They really had fun with the pitch bender. This album stirs feelings of loss, post-loss madness, nostalgia, regret, ensuing bitterness and, finally, redemption. (But I have listened to this album WAY too much.) 

9. “Metamorphosis: Metamorphosis One” — Philip Glass :: This always reminds me that humans and human feelings are stunning, heartbreaking little miracles.  

10. “Je Suis Le Vent” — Working for a Nuclear Free City :: This band has such a wide breadth of sounds. I really can’t pin them down and I can’t believe it took me this long to find them. This (compilation?) album, Businessmen & Ghosts reminds me of Lansing-Dreiden and Apes & Androids in that the span of genres/sounds/eras represented by one band on one album almost seems to intentionally be playing covers of Music Through The Ages medleys. 

11. “DIY” — Keep Shelly in Athens :: Vicious, for an electronic act. I assumed they meant Athens, GA, but they’re from Greece. (“Good programming music.”)

12. “Eat the Rich (Live)” — Motorhead :: No adult in my life ever encouraged a critical listening of Motorhead and, in retrospect, I can only assume this is because they either didn’t know me at all or that they knew me too well and were trying to prevent a terrible rebellion.

13. “The Wheel” — SOHN :: SOHN SAD, FUCK. 

14. “My Heavy Load” — Big Mama Thorton :: I am like moths to these blue porchlights. Such mesmerism and magnetism. 

15. “So Good at Being in Trouble” — Unknown Mortal Orchestra :: This album makes my heart explode. 

16. “What’s He Building In There” — Tom Waits :: Tom Waits initiation during midnight woodworking initiation, timing perfect. 

Nonstop Spencer Krug // He’s such a prolific musician that toggling between all his projects — Sunset Rubdown, Wolf Parade, Moonface, Swan Lake, Frog Eyes — is stressful; I had to make an easy-access playlist.

When I was first introduced to Mr. Krug, I hated it very much. Like most of my most beloved music, years later I end up considering it among my favorites. A man of many, many, many words — most of them difficult to stomach. Flagrantly honest, pretentious and complex, literary (maybe? who can say), and with a sarcastic trenchancy I can barely see the ends of. 

And since he’s a multi-instrumentalist (and eccentric— an archetypal Artist), the music is as layered and nauseating as the words he sings. 

Take the long, hard road and walk it, I say. 

Jan - Feb 2014 // Alive Even Though

1. "Nightlight" — Little Dragon :: A montage tune for the new year.   

2. “The Green Room” – The Tins :: I found this by asking a coworker who has opposing tastes what her favorite song of the last six months was. Musically it’s, you know, just fine, but I really like the lyrics… Nice to hear a bit of frank bitterness from the sensitive guitar strumming crowd.  

3. “Bad Leroy Brown”  — Jim Croce :: So there’s this bar in the neighborhood I recently moved into and it’s just… awful. The jukebox, a marvel: free from the renovational efforts by young people trying to cherry pick the best from eras before. Like someone loaded it up with whatever was popular among middle aged drinkers in 1982 and then promptly lost the keys. 

4. “25 Bucks (feat. Purity Ring)” – Danny Brown :: This one was on repeat for days. It’s the first in the triple threat of depressing songs these last two months. (The next two follow in order.) I really love the  Purity Ring lyrics, but it’s really hard to take them out of context and retain the weight they have when they’re paired with the music. 

5. “Loner” – Burial :: Burial is hands down one of my favorite musicians of all time, but I find it to be so inextricably linked (chronologically, neurologically, contextually) with times and feelings of major, crushing, unbreachable depression in my life. I genuinely admire and enjoy the music, I do, but listening to Burial just makes me linger longer in the dregs. New release (“Rival Dealer”) is so fucking good, though, you guys. I want more more more.   

6. “Romantic Streams” – Sleep Over :: God DAMN is this song sad (so pretty, though).  The third and final in the Depression Trifecta. If “25 Bucks” was the angsty, brow-furrowing intro track and the Burial discography was the long stretch of pure depression, vast and numb and hallucinatory, “Romantic Streams” was the closing act: a monument made from all the happy memories of the past made sad by circumstance. (Okay, and like, when the pillar gets so large and looming it suddenly bursts into a thousand butterflies that scatter into the blue and somehow you know that while you will certainly never forget this twisted mass, you will learn to cherish it and love harder because of it.) ***

7. “Knowing the Ropes” – Michael Nyman :: This composition should send you alight on your toes and fill you with wonder. Also appropriate for your montage needs. 

8. “Peasant in Paradise” – Leatherface :: This band is a powerhouse. I guess many people are turned off by his garrulous screaming (beats me), but the lyrics and the music are really (really) something special. Also, they’re British but they sound like an American band from the same era, and I wonder if that has anything to do with them remaining in relative obscurity. 

9. “New Beginnings” – Zabutom :: I went through a chiptune phase years ago, before streaming music was ‘a thing’. Now, somewhat ironically, with Spotify in my life, I now have access to a much larger chiptune library. Fuck the haters (“It’s just nostalgia porn for geeks.”) — chip tune is an inevitable marriage of music and video games (arguably the first and most honest expression of human proclivity towards beauty/whimsy to both come to and be made from computers). And we have to admit to the sheer bizarreness of these sounds and of the deliberateness from whence they came… Ugh. I could probably go on and on about this shit. LISTEN TO CHIPTUNE. 

10. "Merchandise" — Fugazi :: Consumer culture still getting me down. 

11. "Love Is Real (feat. Holly Miranda)" — Theophilus London :: The more I listen to Theophilus London, the more I like Theophilus London. He’s like a cross between Michael Jackson and Lou Bega — cosmopolitan and vaguely European in manner (or at least not very American), stylish but not ostentatious… I picture him, having made a decent sum from his modest success, packing up and flying all over the world to fuck beautiful women, dine poshly with locals of exotic destinations, and all the while charming men, women, babies, and dogs wherever he goes.  PLUS, “Love Is Real” is a wonderful sentiment. 

12. "Savory" — Jawbox :: Apparently I overestimated the reach of this song. I thought it was nothing but a groan-inducing, overplayed hit from 1994 (I was four when this came out, though, so I have no real concept of much of anything) — but no one seems to remember it. Come on, you guys. After Minor Threat and before Weezer there was a sound called Emo (et. al.) and it informed an entire generation of soft-spoken programmer dads with horn-rimmed glasses and good hair. 

13. "How Long Have You Known" — DIIV :: Forever, forever. <3

14. "Bones of Man" — Chad VanGaalen :: “I felt at peace and alive even though the ship was goin’ down.” 

15. "Ryde On Da Regular" — araabMUZIK :: I listened to an unforgivable amount of Gramatik and araabMUZIK this month. If I could have one musical party trick, it would be to hit the MPC like araabMUZIK. It’s pretty impressive that he does all of this on MPC.

16. "Echosassy" — Gardens & Villa :: …which is not a sister publication of Southern Living, but rather a band of SoCal boys that have a refreshing take on shoegaze. They seem to cull from all the most recent trends and make something actually memorable and — dare I say — musical.  4/5 stars. 

17. “Strychnine” — The Sonics :: The Sonics are perfect! Sarcastically allegiant to the song structures of the 50s, which makes their druggy naughtiness even sweeter. 

18. “Insides” — The Soft Moon :: Were you hoping that I would dig up more shit exactly like this? You’re in luck! Airy, repetitive, goth sounds get me every time. 

19. "Midnight Snack" — A Taste of Honey :: Spread this disease as far and as wide as you can. 

20. "Self-Esteem" — The Offspring :: I never liked Green Day but I really respected the Offspring when I was growing up. I totally believed them, thought they were Sublime but with balls, and that they hated everything about themselves and their genre and were therefore actualized in a way that other pop-punk could never hope to be. 

21. "Kristallen" — Det Vackra Livet :: Two fellows from The Mary Onettes master their debut album in ice caves under the ground and the result is breathtaking. 

22. "The Bee Hive" — Lee Morgan :: Have you ever heard of those people who suffer a massive stroke, a brain injury, or other neurologically-disruptive event and wake up only to discover that they can now speak fluent French or have a newfound love for piano concertos? Pretty wild stuff. Well, none of that has happened to me, but lately I feel violently overcome with the need to hear trumpet music. Lee Morgan in particular has captured my ears lately and this recording is probably my favorite. He sounds super fucked up (on heroin) and the story of his life that goes along with the music is very interesting. His common law wife and eventual murderer allowed a final interview before her death and you can read her story here.

December 2013 // Sweetness, Sweetness I Was Only

1. “Dark Scene Waltz” – The Hylozoists :: A supergroup of  classically trained French Canadians with joy in their hearts. How I imagine Arcade Fire might write an original score for a Werner Herzog film. (I was told to clarify: In order for this comparison to make sense, you have to imagine Werner Herzog shouting at Arcade Fire saying, “No! This is not the Arcade Fire show — this is a documentary! A serious documentary!”)

2. “Auto Rock” – Mogwai :: I have always intended to have more Mogwai in my life, but I can never seem to make room for them. Until one day, out of the blue, I need Mogwai — and Mogwai is always there for me.

3. “Just One Second (Apex  Remix)” – London Elektricity ::  I heard the new Burial release (yes, friends, it finally happened) and something in me immediately went, “Shit! Yes, of course! I need more drum and bass in my life right fucking now!” And thus began the spiral. This came out in 2008. Is your first impression that someone drum and bassified an Imogen Heap/Frou Frou song? Yes.  What does that mean for me, as a virgin listener? I’m not sure. I just know that I love it. And for that I apologize. 

4. “Bigmouth Strikes Again” – The Smiths :: When The Smiths will do, only The Smiths will do. All month. 

5. "To Hell With Good Intentions" — Japandroids :: Great Mclusky cover. Right to the heart of things: “My love is bigger than your love… and we’re all going straight to Hell.” 

6. “Toma (Fire Knives Burn Out Remix)” – Puscifer :: I love this shit but… this is pretty accurate

7. “Hold On, We’re Going Home” – Drake ::  I’ve been assured over and over again that this song right here is The Song of the Year (thank you, Spencer). Everyone stop worrying about it. This is it. We found it.  Ffffuck does it feel good.  

8. "Wolf Like Me" — TV on the Radio :: Did you guys know that TV on the Radio wrote this song about my life like, seven years ago. I always knew it was for me, but TV on the Radio have just recently  revealed that I was never meant to fully understand its significance until now, December 2013. So weird when that happens, right? 

9.  "Oats in the Water" — Ben Howard :: So creepy, so accurate. 

10. "Team:Seed" — Future of the Left ::  I cannot get enough of Future of the Left this month. They’re a realized Mclusky. Poignant, pithy, and taps into the brilliance of pop punk without falling prey to the traps of emotional vulnerability (ugh). Real talk, this band is perfect because they sound like Queens of the Stone Age meets Faith No More meets Oi! punk. Also of note: I cannot pick one song to represent this band. This whole album is perfect. 

11. "Never Run Away" — Kurt Vile :: Those in my actual presence have heard unending about Kurt Vile’s 2013 release. I don’t think I ever really shut up about it. Druggy, drowsy, melancholic, aching-but-easy-going, and very, very pretty. I refuse to decide on an official favorite album release of 2013, but this album was definitely the most played. 

12. "Anxiety’s Door" — Merchandise :: …and this is, actually, probably my favorite song of 2013. It touches in me a happiness I haven’t felt yet but know that someday I will. (And wouldn’t you know, that’s a strange feeling…)

November 2013 // Good Clean Grief, You Must Believe 

1. “Close to Me” — Sabrepulse :: The feeling of teetering on the verge of collapsing into ecstatic fits of heart-pounding glee. Yes, that good. 

1.5 "Computer Love" — The Balanescu Quartet :: (I listened to this song so much that Spotify took it down. It really was a crucial part of my month, so I linked a live video). This version is so arresting and joyous it takes my breath away. 

2. "Back to Land" — Wooden Shjips :: God bless you, Wooden Shjips. Reliably generating satisfying psychedelic rock since 2007. (New album is great, of course.)

3. "Vesper" — Liar :: Samples from the new Liar release include: Nina Simone’s cover of “Strange Fruit” (unwarranted, in my opinion), The Weeknd, My Dying Bride (whaaat?), and in this song, Justin Timberlake. 

4. “Black Tuna Gang” — Morgan Delt :: A friend recommended this, saying it was somewhere between Italian movie scores and 60s psychedelia. A wholly accurate description. 

5. "Come Out, Come Down, Fade Out, Be Gone" — 120 Days :: Can’t believe I’d never heard of this band before. Super spacey. Reminds me of U2, M83, and maybe New Order in places. It’s perfect driving music. 

6. "Lights Out" — Pop. 1280 :: Best live show. Like Smells Like Children meets The Birthday Party meets dirty punk rock. I know comparing bands to other bands is sort of a cop out (and two in a row, ouch) but I feel it’s effective enough to occasionally justify. 

7. "Nothing Here" — Holy Other :: I can’t get enough of Holy Other this month. I went through this obsession with the song “Touch” a year ago, but it’s like it just occurred to me that he had a whole thirteen other songs for me to be infatuated with, plus a couple of remixes. And as with the other songs for November, there are so many feelings. Really I suppose this is a dampening, deadening of feelings, but that’s how I’ve always rolled, so it’s perfect for me. A friend of mine also noted that it is “solid lonely drinking music” which is also apt.

8. "Flower" — Moby :: B side off of Play. What swell. How can you ever listen to this album and feel hopeless? 

9. "The Song We Used to Call ‘Wasting Time’" — The Riverboat Gamblers :: I’ve been working on a playlist for someone that’s supposed to, uh, be based off of the Bride of Chucky soundtrack. So hyper shitmetal and pop punk. Or at least capture that feeling. I started making it and just veered off course and remembered that at one period in my life, this album was The Best Thing I Had Ever Heard. As far as pop punk goes, it still is. 

10. "Last Time" — Natasha Kmeto :: Found her while looking for more Holy Other sounds. A little different than what I was in the mood for, but that haunting piano really does it for me. It’s so fucking moody, though. 

11. "Goin’ Against Your Mind" — Built to Spill :: I just figured out that Built to Spill are the smarter, better Weezer. I wish I had listened to all those people who knew that before me. Sorry, everyone I’ve ever known.

12. "The Irony of It All" — The Streets :: From the lyrics, the phrase “good clean grief” would not get out of my head. Good Clean Grief!  

13. "Mirror in the Dark" — Twin Shadow :: I know I’ve posted this song before, but man, all those feelings. All. Those. Feelings.  

"Stronger Than Dirt" — The Mummies

it’s just budget rock, baby. 

my Holy Other obsession has been renewed with the cold, rainy weather. 

enjoy this remix in a downpour.

September-October 2013 // Never Make a Sound

1. "Money Trees" — Kendrick Lamar (feat. Jay Rock) :: No, I am not off my Kendrick Lamar tip yet. Got to see him on the Yeezus tour and it was just lovely. Kanye’s performance was out of this world, but you don’t see him on this month’s playlist, do you? 

2. "From Nowhere (Baardsen Remix)" — Dan Croll :: You may recognize this from the GTA V soundtrack. Given my long, long history of being brought to the edge of orgasm by side-chain compression, my eyes start to roll back into my head at the 1:04 mark. Fuck this song, really, but I want that sound to be throbbing in the empty space between my ears for the rest of my life. Serious request: If you can find  another (read: better) song with that sound, or indeed any great use of side-chain compression, please send it to me. 

3. "Take It Back" — Toddla-T :: I’ve always had a weakness for grime/dancehall/UK garage. (Are those genres relevant if this was released in 2011?) That piano! Those English accents! 

4. "Control (Joe Goddard Remix)" — Disclosure ::  (Speaking of UK garage…) There is nothing I can say about Disclosure that hasn’t already been fleshed out more eloquently somewhere else. Rad track, though. 

5. "Drive" — Miley Cyrus :: Were you worried that you might actually enjoy the new Miley Cyrus album? I was. But I have investigated and can report with great confidence that this song, “Drive” is the only tolerable song on the whole album. Unless you are a white person who likes trap music. (Of note: This song is also quite heavy on side-chain compression. Someone please help me.) 

6. "Dead Disco Dancer" — O. Children :: #postpunk #editors #newwave #interpol #coldwave  #thenational 

7. "Cop Killer” — John Maus :: I resent the world for not bringing this album to my attention when it came out a bajillion years ago.

8. "The Pisgee Nest" — Daughn Gibson :: Sounds like Puscifer realized and Johnny Cash mixed together. It puts me in a great, vacant headspace. 

9. "When the City Lights Dim" — Cold Specks :: I found her on one of Moby’s playlists. She refers to her sound as ‘doom soul’.  I didn’t know until then but that is the way to my heart. 

10.  "Run On" — Miraculous Mule :: I had accepted this Michael J. Sheehy project as defunct after the two and a half year silence after releasing a single. But, lo, the full album has come out and it is perfection. I have no words. It’s like it was made for me. Dark, rootsy, sounds like it’s sung through a transistor radio. 

11. "No More Girls" — Maus Haus :: I can’t defend this pick at all. It came on John Maus radio and I lept up, listened to the album extensively, and am very confused about my affection for it, as it seems mostly pretty normal. This song makes me giggle though. I picture a Wes Anderson type boy leaping over couch forts in a cape and destroying a living room. Anyone?

12. "Wannabe in L.A." — Eagles of Death Metal :: I want to use this platform to admit that among my favorite musicians are Maynard James Keenan (of Tool, et al.), Mike Patton (of Faith No More, et al.), and Josh Homme (of Queens of the Stone Age and this band) and I am just so embarrassed by this. All three of them are notorious for being raging assholes with huge egos, and their fans pretty much follow suit. It makes me very sad. Anyway, I just feel like this song should be playing when I wake up really hungover. 

13. “My Vengence” — Wipers :: I would love to know more about this band. No one I know knows them, but they seem to have quite the cult following. 

14. "Mexican Radio" — Wall of Voodoo :: My dad turned me on to this band. Couldn’t believe I’d never heard of them. Told him they reminded me of Killing Joke, and he couldn’t believe he’d never heard of Killing Joke. Was a great bonding session. 

15. "Eighties" — Killing Joke :: 1. “Eighties” is like the 80s “We Can’t Stop” 2. Nirvana may or may not have totally ripped this off. 

16. "The Fall (Live)" — Gary Numan :: Me: “Gary Numan at Bumbershoot was one of the best shows I have ever seen in my entire life.”  My dad: “…are you really talking about the guy from Tubeway Army right now?” 

17. "Every Day is Exactly the Same" — Nine Inch Nails :: I know that feel bro. 

soon, yes, there will be.

side chain lullabies

music for windy days